State Fair time again...

Every year we go to the Alaska State Fair.  Every year we get a button photo magnet for our kitchen.  I started going to the fair when my daughter Karen was only one year old.  So I have a button for every fair from Labor Day 1997 until Labor Day 2011.  This week end is Labor Day 2012 and here we go to the Alaska State Fair to get our picture taken again.  But Karen will not be in this picture, because she is in Germany living out her dream to study abroad.  So Pete and Joe and I will be wearing our Alaska Grown shirts and keeping a space open in our picture, as we keep open in our hearts, for our wandering girl.

Every step of the journey is the journey

Those were the words on a keychain I gave my daughter the day before she left for a year in Germany.  What she may not realize, though, is that she is not the only person on this journey. As Karen journeys so do the all the people who love and support her.  Her friends have to fill the void she will leave in class and clubs at school. Her community will have to adjust to one less caring and fun loving person. Her brother has to learn to pick up the chores and parental cajoling Karen was so adept at. And her mother, I, will have to find another grocery shopping companion, and so much more.

I am ready for the journey because I have no choice. I will make the most of my steps and relish in each new day, because to do otherwise is insane. But I will miss my little girl every step of this journey until our paths converge again.

of love and longing

I have been thinking about this rocking chair for almost half a year.  This very functional and well cared for old chair is my dad.  Not complicated, but beautiful, functional and elegant.  Well cared for by my mother, who refinished it's surface, created a cushion for it's seat and adorned it's back.

My mother has been loving and caring for my father for 52 years.  She has supported him emotionally and physically.  She has entertained and irritated him, fed his soul and body, laughed and cried with him, encouraged and argued with him and always been by his side.

I am proud of my mother.  There have been times when I know she would have been a different person if she hadn't chosen to spend her life with a husband and as a mother.  And I hope, in the final analysis, she is happy with her life and choices.  Because I sure appreciate her sacrifices and commitment.

She maintained a fine chair.

The hardest part

The easiest part of living far away in a cold dark place is the distance.  The hardest part of living far away in a cold dark place is also the distance.  I may not have to keep the cleanest house in case of familial drop-overs, but I also can't make familial drop-overs to the rest of my family.  This has recently been very painfully obvious as I deal with the sudden illness of my father.

Occasionally There is Grass

When there is sun - there is grass.  Well, actually, the grass is always there.  But half the time it is asleep under a thick, white and fluffy blanket. 

Living so far away from home is not always easy.  The distance often feels like that thick, white and fluffy blanket.  Sometimes it is uncomfortable and sometimes it is comforting.